"When You Try Your Best But You Can't Succeed"

Yep... that line from Coldplay's song "Fix you" has been playing on my head over and over. Why? Well, I'll tell you why... because a little over 4 weeks ago, I didn't think I would still practically look the same and weight the same today. But I do.

It started with the work out today. It was hot out and I had a head ache. Luckily the headache kind of went away during our warm up, but the work out overall wasn't that great. I mean, it was good in the sense I burned lots of calories, but my performance sucked, especially doing jump ropes.

Here is what we had to do:

Strength: back squat 4×5 (60lb weight)
Conditioning: 4 rounds
Jumprope 100 singles
Run 200m
10 pullups
10 burpees
10 thrusters (10lb kbs)

I was fine doing the back squat. No problem there. 

But then came the workout. I was the worst there and was about 1 round behind all the other girls. I just couldn't do the full 100 Jumprope singles. My feet kept on getting caught on the rope and the most I did was 70 until I gave up and went running. On the last round, when everyone was done, I decided to do a 400m run instead of Jumprope then run, to make up for my inability to do 100 Jumprope singles. It was difficult but I did it. I didn't even check to see how long it took me to finish all 4 rounds. Felt like an eternity. My heat rate watch told me I had burned 800 calories and it sure felt like it.

After that I decided to go on the fat measuring scale. Last week it had told me I was at 155.6lbs and I had gone down to 25% body fat. Well, today it told me I gone up to 158lbs and 26.5 body fat! I think my muscle was up by 2% but I don't remember. I was too focused on the fat part. I mean, I don't mind not losing weight as long as I'm losing fat and ever since I started this thing, I had only gone down on the fat percentage, so this certainly made me feel horrible about myself. 

So right now I feel unmotivated and tired. I'm not about to give up, but I lost all hope to lose 30lbs by the end of Summer which was my initial goal. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like maybe I should up my calorie intake even more but I'm afraid that if I do that, it will backfire.... 

It's funny how a couple of years ago, all I had to do was eat little and I lost a lot of weight. Now I'm practically kicking my butt every other day, drinking at least 2 liters of water per day and watching my calories, and NOTHING happens. This sucks.

PS: I have been doing Crossfit for officially a month now...even though it doesn't look like it :/